What do you believe about yourself in bed

What Do You Believe About Yourself IN BED?

by Jaiya

Jun 17

Do you think your are a great lover? Or, have you had an experience that leads you to believe that you are lousy at pleasuring your partner? Do you give up before you even try? Has performance anxiety taken over your ability to connect and enjoy sex?

Your perception of yourself as a lover is really important to your reality of yourself as a lover. Maybe you think you are really great in bed, but you don't hear your partner's requests because you are caught up in your inflated ego. Or maybe you believe that you are so bad in bed that you fail at everything you try.

Ask yourself these three questions and write down the answers:

    When I close my eyes and think of myself as the lover I am today, what do I see?
    If I asked my partner or past lovers what they thought of me what would they say about me as a lover, if they answered honestly?
    When I close my eyes and think of myself as the lover I want to be, what do I see?

When you know what you and others believe about you as a lover, then you can start the steps to becoming the lover you want to be. Part of that is changing your beliefs about yourself and creating the identity to match your ideal erotic self.

For example, one of my students, we'll call him Sam, thought he knew everything about sex and that is partner was blown away by his abilities. He couldn't see any room for improvement of his skills. When he came to me with his partner she admitted that he wasn't pleasing her, he blamed her and bought her additional sessions to learn about sexuality and overcome HER issues. It took awhile, but eventually he started to hear that perhaps he needed some education about sexuality. His belief that he was soooo awesome in bed was in the way of him actually being awesome in bed. Once he saw the truth he gladly learned everything he could and his partner was happy as could be with the results.

Even sex experts have room for improvement. I believe I can always be better, while at the same time I know I'm also an awesome lover to my current partner.

Take Action:
In the next 60 days what can you do to improve your lovemaking skills?

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Club CalExotics Expert Sexpert, JAIYA ~ Sexologist, Filmmaker and Author of RED HOT TOUCH, Blow Each Other Away and other educational resources to assist you to fully express yourself sexually. www.MissJaiya.com